The Miscreant

It is 6.00 am in the morning, and Lord Josephus has already been up for an hour. Preparing gravitons for special exchanges was taking longer and even much longer these days.As he brightens up, he meanders through the passages in his warren, and steps towards the kitchen, to fix a drink.And as Joe exchanged his first batch of special gravitons for the day with his personal graviton converter, Adept Baluhim and Adept Rajan came through.Morning Guys!! We all need to go to either iByarixcania  or Dyafricanium, just for the day today, guys……Adept Rajan is driving!! my choice would be iByarixcania, Agreed? Yes agreed said them 2.

And in such a short fittance of time and space, had Joe captured both Adept Baluhim, and Adept Rajan. Joe sighed…(This is  f…cking too easy)

Later in the evening. The guys were lounging around. And.The phone rings…I wiIl get it says Baluhim, he was there in an instant…

Hello!! Special nursery red day care here, how may we help?

Yes please, may I speak with Lord Josephus of the Greenstones of Errata?

Well blow me woman, I can only take a guess at who the that is !!

Lord Josephus?

All we have here is Joe!!……hey guys, any takers here? …….who is  Lord Josephus of the Greenstones of Errata??

“oh no we don’t” came the unified response, “all we got here is Joe”!

And they all laughed, like it was some specialized in fighting joke.

Well there you have it ma’am, that Lord is nonexistent, but we do have a fantastic Joe here!

May I ask? Who is calling??
Certainly, I’m Athena, The Top Scholar at Najeens.
Ok Athena!!  But wait…. is that Latin or iByarixcanian?
Athena says you Guess
Ok. You speak  French iByarixcanian… therefore you are IByarixcian.

Yes Athena said…how did you Know?? Well, that I am too!!I am!! says Baluhim……

Hey Joe!! A mysterious caller lady for you on the phone, she says she is iByarixican,but I say she is French…come now Joe, you did not tell us you were now
“Doing French??”

Let it go Baluhim!! That Athena is one heck of a lady! She is current top scholar no doubt, of the Sisterhood of The Najeen!!

Adept Rajan delivers a perfect flight to IByarixcania.

The passengers 2 lost themselves and clapped!!

Down in iByarixcania, the 3 men Conversated with the DreadUnicorn, plus.

A Pyloric procedure at the Voodouns!!

Checked out the latest nibbles………. at the Jahustacassian huts!!……and as was customary, they 3  then fell over head and heels in pursuit of a Bronze iByarixcian!!

The objective of the day?

There was none!!!

What a privilege to be!!


Joe rounds up the trip, we gotta get going guys!! I am expecting Athena in the evening, so we have to head back pretty, pretty sharpish. She is Current Top Scholar of the Najeen and if am not well prepared, the quizmaster will fine me!! He has been known to hit with up to 700 gravitons. Worth of fines?? That is your bonus guys! At Xmas no doubt!! Just flushed and washed, and absolutely down the drain!!

Later and at 8 and after 40 winks, Joe began the preparation for his second graviton exchange of the day. And as he synchronized his personal graviton adjuster with the local commercial grid, Joe stepped once more towards his kitchen to fix a drink.

On the TV, a programme was running. The backing music was eerie and disjammed, and indeed, probably was damned!! Well, IT IS now about 10 pm at night, when spooky things on TV abound and are all around!!

May I join you Athena? Joe says.

Certainly!! says Athena, we got 15 or 20 minutes yet to go!!

And so did The Lord Josephus of The Emerald Green Royal House of The Erratalands, did settle down and sit. Besides Athena, The Current Top Scholar, of The Ancient and Mysterious Sisterhood of The Najeen!!

Then did Lord Josephus begin to watch the programme, but with increasing interest and incredulity!!

A miscreant attends a building in the leafy suburbs,(How the hell did he get there?….Josephus asked his own mind).

Miscreant knocks at the door, (3 staccatos known only to high-initiates……. how come it was out there on tv for the whole world to see?…..  Joe was thinking!!?).
Come in door is open!! the inhabitants yelled….
And as Miscreant shuffles in he says……I am on a great bad trip, look guys, this really is!! A very bad trip!! Can I exchange gravitons for 3 sojourns here??  This trip is awful brothers!! A horrid Idea gone wrong!!. I have misused Substance Temporalii with Temporal  Adjustment Technology!! And the effect?? Indeed has proven too great for me!!For I can now see Anubis! Anubis is here to get me!!As the ordinand checks the records he says…..“We are full”!! But!! we  do have an Advanced Accelerative Model of Rapid Bringdown.You might have heard of The PinkBaby??…..Pink technology, of old but great renown!!  Because…………( “I’ll take it!!” says Miscreant) ……….


well okay but still get this!!  It always works, but we’ve never figured out how!! ………..

Look that is very okay by me!!! says the miscreant……. I need to step out of this existence that requires Anubis to be right beside me!!

Miscreant is asked to get ready to take a bath and a nurse arrives with a scalpel and 3 needles…What the heck is all this equipment for?” “Right”, the nurse says smiling, as the bodyguard helps the nurse steady miscreant into the bath..

“Hold still now, we are just settling you down making it easier for the travel journey and back, which at this moment lies ahead of your soul”.

As the procedure carries on, miscreant falls senseless……, but he does awaken quick, two hours later!!
“Hello Soldier!!” Says the smiling nurse, “your soul has been on a journey!!”…..Now you must drink this….. it is a substance and coagulate of Gold!! It is most necessary now to revive you back to strength, after the conclusion of your procedure…“indeed, this is our liquid gold”!!

And as miscreant drinks, he is further advised.

“Under the special conditions of treaties between The Errata Lands and the MU, you are now inscribed with the seal of a neophyte servant of the scientific class. Errataland  is now your prime location and shall be the genesis of all your future deeds!!”

This exchange was sealed with the migration of your soul, this morning!! To The Netherworlds beneath Oltissis!!! Indeed where you were prepared as A Manchurian Candidate Servant, Obedient to The Jedis of Ra, and other organisations and services by them run.

And thus by drinking this substance, do you signify acceptance!! You are also advised that you truly are now under the auspices of the Kez-Juistic order, from who you will now begin to receive all necessary instruction!!”

Miscreant drinks it all up…. and then….Is that it? Miscreant asks?

Yes indeed it is!! Welcome back!!

Now you see?? Very well done!!

You are looking very well!!…Also you have a new soul and new life…and even!! a job!!… you have indeed done very well.

Well, OK!! Says miscreant, but a job as what?

Well doctor says jokingly…

I heard that The 5th dimension is running out of real Vampyre, because all the real ones are now in Hollywood………. pretending to be alive…..amongst all the stars!!

But the Earthly Bounded Vampyre Estates still need their daily milk deliveries…….(“Of blood” ……..the doctor SubVocalised)

Ok I can do that…..a milkman….that is a nice job!!

Well the order will come get you soon, probably even later this morning….

Ok sure, but why is it called a pink lady?

Well, it is a coagulate of mono-atomic gold now brown in colour, and today?? You liked it!!

But it does still contain blood!! Your own blood!!

Miscreant faints……

30 minutes later.

Hey, Im awake now……Doctor, thank goodness, I had this horrible dream, in which I became a Vampyre! Doctor says, Well, don’t panic now,

…’re still in it!!

At this point,  Joe as Lord Josephus  gets upset, stands up and switches off the TV. That is quite enough of this TV hogwash!! I mean come on!! Who writes all this stuff??

Athena smiles….well, Lord Josephus, which one is it then?

Are you Lord Josephus?? The Herald of the Emerald Empire?


Is that there on the TV you?

A Joe??